Personal Reflection 6/13/22

Yay selfies! Okay…

Here is my sponsored goat from The Gentle Barn LOLLI!!!!!!!!

So life updates…

I did another podcast for Meet in the Middle!

Book updates:

Children’s book Brilliant Road and the Red Balloon: I finished the first draft and am taking it to a writer’s club to get feedback.

Ya — You Are The Reason My Sky Is Blue: It is a powerful rights book. The conversations are all very deep. I love it! I am working on how to flesh the rest of it out now that I have an outline for the next parts with a lot already written. I finished a playlist for it that Payton sings which you can find here. It’s a love triangle between Payton, Ever and Skye. Skye runs away and Payton chooses Ever. I finished Skye scenes and am writing Ever and Payton’s love story. They are awkward and can’t say ‘I love you’ so are friends til the end hehe! Ever is hosting a suicide prevention ball in honor of his dad who died by suicide. Corelle and Payton must fight then bond. Eli must be redirected then shown love by Payton. There’s diversity in my book. And there’s a lot of talk about God. The healing journey of my MC follows my current healing, so I couldn’t have written this book before now. I needed to find myself.

Memoir — Unseen Brilliance: I edited the NDE section and am waiting to hear back on some more queries. I added updates to it as to where I am now. I added the line “I found something greater in myself than my circumstances.” This is also one of the last lines of my YA.

Follow up to memoir- Your Calling Is Your Character: I ended it June 4th 2022. It shows my psychological healing and life rebuilding after two mental breakdowns which my memoir details. I wasn’t expecting to write this. I ended it that day because I had this overwhelming peace while at a pond at Graham Park (where I often go to read and write) that I had overcome everything and made meaning. I felt completed. So I knew the follow up book had to end there. My MC Payton of YA and I share the same growth journey and both emotionally end at this place.

Self help book — You Are Beautiful: This is full of my life story + wisdom. I’m quoting Dr. Edith Eger, Corrie Ten Boom, Megan Devine and more! I talk about forced gratitude and toxic positivity. I have a line “Your trauma is NOT a blessing” inspired by Aundi Kolber (who inspires a lot of my writing esp for Forbes).

Self help book — Start with Surrender: This is the last book I will write and the hardest because I share my views on how I think God really works and undo some of Joel Osteen’s ideas. (My critiques on Joel Osteen can be found here).

I have another children’s book called Ainsley’s Angel but I don’t know if it will ever come out! :)

My Forbes writing is something I’m very proud of. I got a lot of views!! I submitted an article on Connection Before Correction to ENDCAN a place I volunteer for.

I volunteer for ENDCAN and Tiny Buddha mainly. The Humane League I’ve done admin work, social media advocacy and have used their resources to craft emails to places that are abusing animals in factory farms.

Tiny Buddha pays me! It’s awesome. I get visa gift cards from her which is really helpful while being on disability. I help run her site and do a lot of projects for her. I pick out all her article pics such as these:

I am reading My Body Is Not a Prayer Request with Josie Badger and her friends for a Bible study group she’s in and also with my friend who shared it with me, Katherine Grace. I’m so excited.

I plan to use this book in my YA. Something about this subject speaks to me, even as someone with INVISIBLE disabilities.

People tend to say the wrong or off putting stuff to me regarding my learning disabilities and bipolar. I’m at a place though where no one can hurt me.

Which is great because as a victim of prior abuse, I know my boundaries. I know how to handle my heartbreaks. I know how to handle my PTSD. I know how to handle my trauma. I recently had a huge PTSD moment come up, but it also brought great healing. It was as though my whole past was unloaded onto me because now that I am stable after some years struggling with bipolar, I can handle the emotional information.

I love how Dr. Edith Eger, holocaust survivor, says “There is no forgiveness without rage.”

But I’m through the rage part. I am detached from people in my life who do not see me or say the wrong things.

I also don’t see myself as a victim. I’ve taken my power back. I’ve given a lot of feedback too to someone who oversees the mental health services in my area. I was abused in the system. In the psych ward, I told someone I had been abused before and they said, “It’s always someone else’s fault.” I never would say that anyway but this is an example as how they can hurt you emotionally. I’m glad I thought to report that. Also I had credited a therapist only to realize she was an abuser and turned her in too. I’ve had great closure with all that. I don’t have a therapist now because they all were insensitive and irrational in some way, but I have a good psychiatrist which is refreshing (but also I am on the right meds so there’s not a lot of work anymore to do).

I’m a mental health advocate, vegan advocate, disability rights advocate, women’s rights advocate (though mostly prolife) and a youth advocate. (I went from almost being a high school English teacher to a youth advocate who taught kids in other places and ways. I now help ENDCAN!)

I’m a past speaker.

I’m a writer.

I hope to be an author one day.

The page “Soul Food Poetry” on Facebook is an inspiration to me for my writing. It captures book quotes that are really deep and powerful.

This is my favorite ASMRtist: Beebee Asmr. Here’s one I like.

I have the song “I Can Only Imagine” and “Raise Me Up” on everyday. Anytime I feel sad or get stuck in my writing, I listen to them. Not all Christian music does it for me. But these two do.

My dog’s health issues are taken care of. She’s on all the best pills and she gets sick now and then. There’s nothing more that they can do for her. But I fought so hard to get her to this level of care. Her mysterious pain went away.

God has shown me that I was meant to follow my own path, not be like others. I think for myself (esp about faith) and know who I am. I will never be manic Sarah again like I was in college who was able to learn and do so much. I struggle learning now but am at a better emotional place. I also think autism is why my learning has shifted so many times in my life. I’ve been learning from the autistic community on twitter and wow I see myself. I finally accept my neurodivergence.

My favorite communities on twitter are: #writingcommunity #resisters #vegans #actuallyaustistic #disabilitytwitter

All my prayers have been answered. One day I’ll get where I’m going…

Thank for reading!

Sarah

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